This is my blog.
About six months ago I bought this domain.
I say again because I’ve published random posts on about seven different blogs that I’ve “owned” over the last several years. I always start with good intentions.
Forty-seven weeks ago I teased about writing again via instagram. And then I didn’t.
Here’s the thing. I love to write—I write all day (and sometimes night) in my head. I wrestle with these big thoughts and ideas, describe how I’m working through a season of life, discuss what really matters to me in terms of educating my kids, wonder if anyone else cares about all the kids needing a home today, ask you if it’s just me feeling all these things or I tell a story about something my kids taught me. And I say it all to myself. In my head.
Because actually hitting that publish button takes a bit of silencing that voice that tells you there are already enough people in the world making a lot of noise online….and why should you join them? Surely your noise won’t add anything of value to the internet conversation.
…and it might not.
…and it’s probably good to listen to that voice once in awhile and we’d all be better off if more people turned their voice down a few notches….or completely off. That would probably work quite well in some instances.
…but then you can’t shake it. You can’t shake these full on posts you write in your head that you want to push publish on.
…so you finally hop online and try and figure out the name of the domain you bought and how to even login. you find it—and remember how you spent a lot of time trying to make it just right before hitting publish so that twelve of your friends might read. you wanted a pretty background for your scattered ramblings.
….but like most projects in your life, it’s unfinished. the pages blank….the design so very raw. you don’t quite remember why you didn’t follow through—one of your four kids probably got sick or broke something or called 911 on a phone you thought was deactivated and…well….the design got pushed to the side. as did the “publish” button.
Maybe the design will become more polished. Maybe there really will be an “about me” page like all the professionals say you should have. Maybe my social media links will connect to the right pages. Maybe I’ll fill my extra pages with oodles of information that I find beneficial.
…or maybe I’ll just hit publish on this post.
and then come back in a few days and do it again.
Maybe that’s what I can do for now.
and maybe that’s enough.